grey skies and cold nights...

so here i am again, long stretches between hellos.. most likely no one bothers to come to my little corner here on the web.. its raining again, wind howling past, and i'm on my trusty front patio, enjoying the chill in the air and the almost peaceful quiet. its that windy my laptop was nearly blown off my lap as i was booting it up..

so i dont know if that much has happened since i have last ranted about useless rubbish.. i have a new job now, i'm a week into it.. in one of the largest engineering firms in australia.. i dont know if that is in the world too.. there are 3500 staff that cover virtually anything you could think of, and thats just under the main company.. its all rather impressive and daunting at the same time. the other job got pretty old towards the end.. its a bit hard to believe sometimes how personalities change when you're leaving a company, i somehow think though, that not all people act the same as i experienced. a friend of mine, who is contracting at my old work, i have known her for a good 8 years and we've always kept in touch.. the office manager decided that because she was still socialising with me after i quit, that he wouldnt talk to her and wouldnt give her work anymore. there are other bits and pieces but its all just rubbish, you wouldnt believe.

anyway, enough of that.. the new place, it blows it away, they like to make sure that you're doing things right, they train you up on the ways of the company.. its hard to explain, the difference is amazing.

the coroner didnt find a cause for nathan's death either. the death certificate came in the mail exactly 12 weeks from the day he died, and just listed that he was disabled and was overweight as the reasons.. so reasons without finding a reason, its hard to understand or accept i suppose, but that is what our family doctor has said.

i bought myself a new pushbike too.. so about bike number 5 lol.. but i'm going to sell all the old ones bar one. i rode the bike to the train station to give it a good test run the day i bought it and its such a pleasure to ride. i've put my name down for a bike locker and when its available, i'll be riding to the train station every day, except days like today.. i think i'd get blown off of the bridge.

what to do..

so its another tropical wintery afternoon, enjoying the sun on the front patio.. killswitch engage dvd cranked up on the home theatre much to the neighbours distaste. i'm in a little of a quandry of sorts.. i have been made a job offer, and my current work have put the huge guilt trip on me for wanting to leave. i dont know if i should stay or if i should go. dont know. i really dont.

meanwhile i'll just sit here and enjoy the sun. so shiny. lol.

hehe i sneezed and my nose feels funny.

turn it up!

working on a saturday.. meh.. stupid merger. stupid people we're merging with.. making my work of getting them integrated into the company network harder.. total asshats. so i gots my music cranked up. w00t!

with teeth...

good old nine inch nails blasting out in surround sound goodness.. although surround sound doesnt do me a whole lot of good while i'm sitting on my patio in the wintery sun. the weather is good.. seems i'm climatising.. with 12 degree mornings making me put long pants on.

last weekend when i was up the coast with my parents, my brother took me on a little journey down to the local supermarket to pick up some stuff to make me smell nice and look clean.. as i accidentally left all that stuff on the floor of the kitchen when i left.. we grabbed all the stuff we needed and there was this funny looking old man, probably pushing 80 or more.. and he was chatting up the barely 18yo check out girl lol.

as he was paying for his groceries, he accidentally dropped some money on the ground, or maybe it wasnt an accident.. cause as he bent down to pick it up, he tried to look up the girls skirt under the counter.. too bad for him the counter is enclosed so there will never be any up skirt perving action for old men ever.. too bad i suppose..

i can sort of imagine myself being like that old guy when i get old.. except i'll be in one of those funky hovering wheelchair things that marty mcfly's dad was in in back to the future 2.. then i'll be able flip it round, hover upside down and gawk down tops instead :P


while i was up the coast, i found the new zeromancer song doppelganger i love you on a random russian site. the link on the site has gone down, so i've uploaded the song here:


http://rapidshare.com/files/37469412/01-zeromancer-doppelgaenger_i_love_you-noss.mp3.html

free internets and a view of the ocean..

i'm sitting here on the patio of a block of units up at cloundra. mum and dad had this planned for a while as it ws dads 50th birthday on thursday and its a long weekend this weekend. i bought my laptop for no apparent reason, and now here i am sitting here on some free wireless internets. i'm a little excited, i've never had free internets before. silly people that dont know how to set up a secure wireless network.

its actually quite chilly at the moment as far as brisbane goes. 15 degrees. the surf is roaring away in the distance. quite nice really. always interesting on the baclcony, watching cars fly over the speed bump at close to 60km/hr.

on the downside i'm starting to come down with a cold which is no fun. hopefully it wont hang around too long.

anyway, i'm going to get back to my holiday.

you know, my toes are kind of cold..

so after being back at work for a few days after having a week off, i'm sort of getting my head around the working thing again, i know i've only had a week off, but to be honest, being back at work and going about my daily routine after this last week just seems wrong. the first two days were real slow, then today, things kicked into gear, sort of.

i spent monday sorting out a few things that i meant to get done earlier, just mundane house keeping things so that i kept myself occupied. tuesday was much the same, but i did some cad checks and helped out a bit more with the cad staff when they needed help.

today however, i get a call from the guy at wendy's head office (yeh the ice cream place) i design there shops for them, at least the hydraulics side of things.. and i have maybe 9 of them to do, which i was working on the week that nathan died.. that weekend, i emailed the 2 most senior guys at the office and let them know what jobs i had to be done that were urgent. i knew that we had a bit of spare manpower up our sleeve and that people could afford to cover me during the week.

anyway, long story short, or boring story less boring, nick asks me where the wendy's stuff is. he never saw a drawing while i was away. each store, although is only tiny, should take the average person a day to complete from start to finish. there are a few time consuming tasks involved in making sure that everything is right, and all the t's are dotted and the i's are crossed.. i only asked for 2 of the stores to be done out of the 9, not a big ask i though, but it seems i was wrong.

so today, i find i have to play catch up on those two stores, then have another 2 complete from scratch tomorrow, and another 2 by monday at the latest. i knew the deadlines were looming, but.. i dont know. its just a little bit on the crap side of things. always the same story when you ask certain people to help at work it seems.

all this though makes it ok for me to hate people yes? or maybe not hate, maybe just ambush them with a volley of paint ball slugs.. would certainly brighten up my day at least..


something i was doing a lot the last few weeks, or maybe thats months, was working overtime. i'd hang back until 6 or 7pm finishing stuff off that i didnt get to during the day. its all good to be the CAD manager, IT manager/support guy and a designer, it would be even better if i got paid seperately for all three jobs, but the thing that sucks about it is the amount of work that i *dont* get done. running around like a chook with my head cut off helping people with IT and CAD troubles makes meeting deadlines for design work is just that little bit harder.

but right now, i'm out on my front porch in the rain.. not in the rain rain, but the fake rain.. well no, i lie, there is real rain, but i'm undercover, otherwise my laptop would be quite sad. i'm working which sucks, but i'm at home which is far better than only just getting home around this time. the work i was finishing off a fruit store out at ipswich. it specialises in organic fruit and vegetables. probably a total waste of effort on the owners part, as ipswich folk would most likely not understand.

more importantly i suppose, its raining! it rained all night last night, and then all day today.. and not that useless drizzle rubbish either.. real rain filled with bacon & cheese! i'm quite enjoying the quiet here on the patio, the 18 degree heat (lol) and the pattering of rain on the awning. (yes kip, awning lol.. and no its not beige) makes me home sick for melbourne this weather.. cold, rainy.. awnings.. just brilliant.

only problem with the rain is that i decided to deliver some drawings to an architect today whose office i thought was right near where i wanted to buy lunch.. boy was i wrong.. after about 20mins of trudging through the downpour i finally get there.. you'd think i'd have turned back.. but no, didnt even cross my mind to do that until later.. stoopid.

anyway, is time for me to wander off to bed.. i havent been sleeping well since losing nathan.. so i figure if i get to bed earlier, and actually fall asleep, then at least if i wake up in the middle of the night like i have been, at least i will have slept for longer first.. and i'm almost certain the only person that makes sense to is me.

as well as can be expected..

i swear if one more person when they ask me how i'm going, and i go 'yeh i'm ok' and they reply with 'yeh, as well as can be expected huh?' i'm going to punch them in the face.